Acceptance
The Power of Acceptance: What It Is (And What It Isn't)
I used to think acceptance meant giving up.
Standing in the hospital hallway, listening to yet another complication in my aunt’s care plan, I remember thinking: "If I accept this, I'm surrendering. I'm giving up."
I was wrong.
What Acceptance Actually Means
Acceptance isn't about liking your situation. It's not about agreeing with it or thinking it's fair or right.
Acceptance is simply acknowledging reality as it is right now.
That's it.
It's the difference between:
"This shouldn't be happening" (resistance)
"This is happening" (acceptance)
One keeps you stuck in a fight with reality. The other frees you to actually deal with what's in front of you.
The Energy Drain of Resistance
Think about the mental energy you spend on these thoughts:
"The insurance company shouldn't deny this claim"
"My sibling should help more"
"The doctor should have caught this earlier"
"I shouldn't feel this overwhelmed"
Notice the word "should" in each one?
Every "should" is resistance. And resistance is exhausting.
You're fighting two battles: the actual situation AND your belief that it shouldn't exist.
What Happens When You Accept
When I finally accepted that the medical team wasn’t going to listen - something shifted.
I stopped focusing on what felt like inequities in care.
I started focusing on the steps to get her the appropriate care she needed.
Acceptance didn't make me powerless. It made me effective.
The Acceptance Practice
Here's what acceptance looks like in real time:
1. Notice the resistance "I'm thinking 'this shouldn't be happening.'"
2. Acknowledge reality "This IS happening. Right now. Whether I like it or not."
3. Redirect your energy "Given that this is real, what can I actually do?"
That's it. No mantras. No pretending it's okay. Just seeing what's true.
What Acceptance Is NOT
Let me be clear about what acceptance doesn't mean:
❌ Not: Liking the situation
✓ Is: Acknowledging it exists
❌ Not: Agreeing it's fair or right
✓ Is: Stopping the mental argument with reality
❌ Not: Giving up on change
✓ Is: Seeing clearly what you can actually change
❌ Not: Being passive
✓ Is: Choosing where to put your energy
❌ Not: Condoning bad behavior
✓ Is: Seeing what's happening without the filter of "should"
When Acceptance Feels Impossible
Sometimes acceptance feels like betrayal.
"If I accept my loved one's decline, I'm giving up on them."
"If I accept that no one's coming to help, I'm letting everyone off the hook."
I get it. I've been there.
But here's the truth: Your resistance doesn't change their reality. It only changes yours.
And usually, it makes yours worse.
The Small Practice That Changes Everything
Start small. Pick one thing today, just one, that you've been fighting mentally.
Maybe it's:
The diagnosis that isn't changing
The family member who won't help
The system
Your own exhaustion
Try saying out loud: "This is what's true right now."
Not "I like this." Not "This is okay." Just "This is true."
See what shifts.
The Freedom in Acceptance
Here's what I didn't expect: Acceptance gave me back my power.
When I stopped fighting reality, I had energy to deal with it.
For example: When I stopped arguing with the insurance company in your head at 3 AM, I could actually sleep and be sharper during the actual appeal call.
When I accepted that my siblings weren't going to suddenly become different people, I stopped waiting for them to save me and started building the support system I actually needed.
Acceptance isn't the end of action. It's the beginning of effective action.
Your Turn
What's one thing you're resisting right now?
What would change if you simply acknowledged: "This is what's true"?
You don't have to like it. You don't have to agree with it. You don't have to stop working to change what you can.
You just have to see it clearly.
Because the revolution begins with acceptance; not of defeat, but of reality.
And from there, we can actually move forward.
What's the one thing you're fighting mentally that acceptance might help with? Drop it in the comments.
Sometimes just naming it out loud is the first step.
Want the Step-by-Step Guide?
You get the concept. But how do you actually DO this?"
Reading about acceptance is one thing.
Practicing it in the middle of a crisis? That's different.
→ My Acceptance Inventory Worksheet - Identify exactly what you're resisting and what it's costing you
→ 5 Breathing Exercises - For when resistance feels overwhelming